Sex and selfcare

Are you taking care of your sensual self? Often our self-care routines involve taking care of our physical bodies or nourishing our minds. That’s why exercise, healthy eating, and meditation are common activities we can all find in our self-care toolboxes.

But as a life coach, I often find myself wondering what self-care looks like for our sensual selves. I like to think of the sensual self as your inner vixen-- the part of you that is inspired by sexuality and arousal. It’s the primal energy and passion that increases your self-confidence and makes you feel sexy and invigorated.

Your sensual self is essential to your wellbeing and deserves to be cared for too! In fact, healthy sensual self-care activities can release the body’s “love hormone” oxytocin, which is known to reduce stress and support sexual and psychological health. Self-care is the ultimate demonstration of self-love. So how do you show love to your sensual side? Here are two rituals you can start incorporating into your self-care routine to help you tune into your sensual self


Give yourself an oil massage.

Did you know that the sanskrit word for “oil” is also the same word used for “love?” Self-massage with high quality, organic oils like sesame, jojoba, safflower or coconut oil can help the body release internal toxins, decrease the effects of aging, calm the nerves, lubricate the joints, increase stamina and soften the skin. Warm the oil first, then massage it into your skin starting at the top of your head with a scalp massage. Work your way down the body using longer strokes on your limbs and shorter, circular motions on your joints. Finish with a foot massage and allow the oil to absorb into your skin. After your massage, you should take a warm bath or shower and allow your body to air dry for best results.


Examine your lady bits.

Have a good look at your vulva and breasts by performing self-examinations. Though commonly called the “vagina,” the vulva is actually the part of your genitals that you can see from the outside. It’s made up of the labia majora and labia minora (commonly referred to as the outer and inner lips), and the clitoris. Try using a small hand mirror and spreading your labia with your fingers to perform a self-exam on your vulva. Look for any abnormalities like new moles, marks, legions, pain, rashes, lumps or bumps. Report anything abnormal or suspicious to your doctor as this could be a sign of infection, cancer or other serious conditions.When examining your breasts, start by looking in the mirror. Take notice of the shape, skin, nipples and vein patterns on your breasts when standing, with arms raised, and hunched over. Then perform a breast self-exam using the pads of your fingers (not the tips) to examine the breast tissue. Don’t panic if you find a lump or notice anything unusual-- 80% of lumps found during self-exams are NOT cancerous. Performing self-exams on the breasts and vulva at least once a month can help prevent sexual health concerns from escalating into larger problems later.


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